--- title: "The Leadership Playbook: On the Need to be Liked | The Sales Blog" description: By not needing to be liked, the leader earns the love and respect of the people they have the privilege to lead. image: https://www.thesalesblog.com/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/shutterstock_2924993031.jpg --- ### [Now booking SKO meetings for 2026/27! 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There are so many attributes, beliefs, and behaviors that make up a good leader that it’s impossible to come up with a single defining characteristic. And the same could be said for mistakes that would-be leaders make. Right now, one big mistake comes to mind. #### The Need to Be Liked One thing that leadership is not is a popularity contest. A leader can’t have an overwhelming need to be liked. - The need to be liked can prevent a leader from having the tough conversations that are necessary to good leadership. - The need to be liked can cause some leaders to avoid taking some action because they are afraid that someone will think less of them for making a decision—even when it is the right decision. - In the worst of all cases, a leader with a strong need to be liked will refuse to hold people accountable for fear of that person not liking them. #### Not Feared, But Respected None of this means that a leader should want to be disliked. How you achieve outcomes as a leader is every bit as important as the outcomes themselves. The idea that it is better for a leader to be feared than loved if she “[can’t be both,](http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/n/niccolomac103757.html)” is 500 years old. Much about leadership has changed in 5 Centuries. - The best leader you had cared enough about you to have the tough conversations necessary to help you see your blind spots. They weren’t mean-spirited in their criticism. They just saw something more in you than you could see at the time. - The best leader you will ever have will make the decision to do what is right even when it is the unpopular decision. That leader will weigh their decisions carefully and do what is best for the people that they lead. - A great leader will hold you accountable for producing results, even when those results are difficult to achieve. The leader that you loved won’t be one that you feared. It will be the one that you respected and who cared about you and the people they led. By not needing to be liked, the leader earns the love and respect of the people they have the privilege to lead. ###### Tags: [Leadership](https://www.thesalesblog.com/blog/tag/leadership) Post by [Anthony Iannarino](https://www.thesalesblog.com/blog/author/anthony-iannarino) on October 20, 2015 Written and edited by human brains and human hands. ![Anthony Iannarino](https://www.thesalesblog.com/hubfs/ai-blog-profile-crop.jpg) Anthony Iannarino is an American writer. He has published daily at [thesalesblog.com](https://www.thesalesblog.com) for more than 14 years, amassing over 5,300 articles and making this platform a destination for salespeople and sales leaders. Anthony is also the author of four best-selling books documenting modern sales methodologies and a fifth book for sales leaders seeking revenue growth. His latest book for an even wider audience is titled, The Negativity Fast: Proven Techniques to Increase Positivity, Reduce Fear, and Boost Success. Anthony speaks to sales organizations worldwide, delivering cutting-edge sales strategies and tactics that work in this ever-evolving B2B landscape. He also provides workshops and seminars. Connect with Anthony on LinkedIn, X or Youtube. 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Learn how to make those tough decisions, hold yourself and your team accountable, and build a legacy with How to Lead: The Leadership E-Book. [![DOWNLOAD EBOOK](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/2922376/d345d648-812a-428a-81e4-53ce30822212.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/2922376/d345d648-812a-428a-81e4-53ce30822212) ## Are You Ready To Solve Your Sales Challenges? ![Anthony-Solve-Sales](https://www.thesalesblog.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Anthony-Solve-Sales.png?width=290&height=221&name=Anthony-Solve-Sales.png) Hi, I’m Anthony. I help sales teams make the changes needed to create more opportunities & crush their sales targets. What we’re doing right now **is working**, even in this challenging economy. **Would you like some help?** [![Solve for Sales](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/2922376/d3a4938b-2008-4a27-8b44-7b2223f6d035.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/2922376/d3a4938b-2008-4a27-8b44-7b2223f6d035) ### Join my Weekly Newsletter for Sales Tips Join 100,000+ sales professionals in my weekly newsletter and get my *Guide to Becoming a Sales Hustler* eBook for FREE! --- ```json { "@context" : "http://schema.org/", "@type" : "BlogPosting", "author" : { "@type" : "Person", "name" : "Anthony Iannarino" }, "dateModified" : "2022-01-20T4:31:56 PM", "datePublished" : "2015-10-20 20:56:03", "description" : "By not needing to be liked, the leader earns the love and respect of the people they have the privilege to lead.", "headline" : "The Leadership Playbook: On the Need to be Liked", "image" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "height" : 16, "url" : "https://f.hubspotusercontent20.net/hubfs/2922376/Image/favicon.ico", "width" : 16 }, "mainEntityOfPage" : { "@id" : "https://www.thesalesblog.com/blog/the-leadership-playbook-on-the-need-to-be-liked", "@type" : "WebPage" }, "name" : "The Leadership Playbook: On the Need to be Liked", "publisher" : { "@type" : "Organization", "logo" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "height" : 24, "url" : "https://f.hubspotusercontent20.net/hubfs/2922376/TSB/images/TSB%20Logo%20Dark.svg", "width" : 228 }, "name" : "The Sales Blog" } } ```