Discover the hidden ways technology is eroding our personal connections and learn actionable steps to reclaim meaningful relationships.
It is clear to me that our technology is killing relationships. Technology, like anything else, may help us or harm us. In this case, we are looking at something harmful.
Overcoming Online Application Barriers for Job Seekers
My son is looking for work. He is diligently applying online, but the technology that pre-screens candidates prevents important conversations from taking place. Unable to connect with a hiring manager or HR person online, he has started to walk into the companies he would like to work for, only to find that there is no one to ask for an interview. Many of his Gen-Z friends are also struggling to get interviews and jobs.
Before technology played a key role in the hiring process, it was easier to find a job. Members of Gen X had to walk into a business and sit down to fill out an application. Odds were, you would have been interviewed on the spot. I never failed to acquire a job simply by showing up, but it seems that technology is now an obstacle to work.
Navigating the Isolation of Remote Work
When you work around other people in the same place at the same time, you tend to make friends with your co-workers. Working from home finds you alone throughout your day, with the exception of the Amazon driver who drops cardboard boxes on your front porch.
You may be happy not having to drive to an office to work and reverse your commute at the end of the day. One or two days of working from home may cause you to have fewer relationships that feel like friendships.
The Downsides of Email for Business Communication
When email went wide, I believed it was outstanding to be able to reach people in written form. Unfortunately, email is now the primary medium for what is something far less than a conversation. Email is just one asynchronous communication; there are others like Slack, texting, and chat.
See if this is true for you and your peers. If you work in an office, you’ve probably sent an email to a person who sits 20 feet away from you. If not you, right now, someone is sending you an email instead of walking over or picking up the phone to talk something through and make an important decision. Email is not a conversation, and what is worse is trying to follow a long thread.
If I were going to help you do better work and improve things faster, I would suggest having a meeting instead.
Combating Loneliness in the Age of Social Media
I love the social platforms, even though I am more a creator than a consumer. There are a lot of people who spend much of their time online, whether they work from home or they are seeking something, maybe connection and conversations. Right now, there is an epidemic of loneliness. Harvard’s survey suggests that loneliness is as detrimental as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
A lack of social contact and relationships not only leads to loneliness, but also physical illness. We are social animals. We have been hominids for 300,000 years and sapiens for 40,000. Our species has always lived in tribes. We need others to flourish.
Managing Screen Time for Healthier Relationships
In the past, you might have had someone tell you that you should not sit in front of the television all day. This was true when there were black-and-white TVs, and it is still true with hi-def, full-color, 75-inch Samsung flat screens. You can’t carry your television around with you, but we now carry a number of screens in our pockets, bags, and briefcases.
You have a computer screen, a laptop screen, and a phone that is never more than a few inches from your left hand. And, you may also have an iPad. Apple shares the amount of time and what you were doing on your phone. If you are honest, you spend more time with the small screen of infinite distractions than you do with human beings.
You would do better by treating a phone as a tool, one that you use occasionally throughout your day, as needed.
The Pitfalls of Texting for Meaningful Communication
Too short; didn’t read. You may believe I have this backward, but if you disagree, I will argue that you are wrong. Text is a short-format message that lacks real context. You would do better calling someone you need to communicate with because the phone supports a synchronous conversation. I will argue that this is better for your relationship with the person on the other end.
Instead of limiting what you can communicate, reduce your reliance on texting and choose a better medium, one with higher fidelity.
Conclusion
It becomes clearer that our technology is an obstacle to building relationships. Consider whether you use software to do business with a company while also preventing you from building the relationships that are critical for doing your best work together.
As you go back over these obstacles, determine what you can do to prioritize the relationships in your life. The platinum standard is a face-to-face meeting. Take this advice if you want better long-term relationships.
